Back to blog after 6years

Hi blog, it have been a long long since I touch. I' sure surprise that you're still there and I still got the chance to read through it.

The past 6years many changes in my life, ups and downs which I also don't believe that I had changed so much, to many may think is good but for some may not but I not longer bother how people look at me.

This years I had 2 beautiful children which give me lots of headache but yet so cute, I'm also surprised that I could really handle them by myself till this days. In e past I had never thought that I could be a mother which know how to take care of them. I'm afraid that I couldn't do a good as others but I know u use my real heart to love them n lead them to e right path.

My life in Cambodia was bad for e beginning as I need to live with someone horrible which control everything in e house even complain about my children, I often quarrel with my husband too but till today I could say my husband really did a good job to protect us and provide us e best he can. He had change so much in his life too.. We use to be very poor in debts but now we are debts free. I thank God for everything had given to us now and I wish we could maintain this till we grow old.

Now back to sg, my life is a little bored at times as my husband not with me but lucky e have my 2 mischievous kids that make my life more sparkling. After back to sg I realise lots of thing had changed esp people, people who I use to care n love most of them had left my life, I feel sad but I wish them good cause eveyone have their own life to lead.

 I guess there alot more for me to say here but at this moment I could only type this long. Bye I will be back again.

March 2012

Feb is the blissful month coz is honeymoon month, actually hubby want to cancel this trip coz after my op he scared I cannot take long flt and scared no food for me to eat there.
But Thank god he didn’t coz during the honeymoon my emotion getting well again and I really let go all my sadness and I also pick up snorkeling too it was fun even thou I don’t know how to swim, snorkel really make me for so untroubled in the sea and I can see beautiful fishes the feeling is damn good..,

After when I’m back from trip my mood getting better, hubby tried so hard to make me happy and help me over come it, after honeymoon I still eat confinement food and tonic myself and I realize that i’m so smart that I can cook for myself after tonic I felt stronger but fatter too.. No choice lo, want to keep healthy is like that lo eat good and rest well become fatty.

Maldives is really a beautiful place

31st march is sister Kim pageant dinner, we all dress up properly go and give her support and she make it, come in 1st place for Mrs Singapore World 2012 all of us so happy for her and my in laws is so proud of her too. And because of her dinner, I didn’t celebrate Erina’s birthday so I make a party for her on the 1st April and I promise her for the bouncy castle and balloon twist. She is so happy and I’m happy too and I hope my guest and kids also enjoy themselves.

 

Feb 2012

What’s blog? Why I stop for a year? It’s because that I’m too busy to blog or too lazy or I’m too happy living on own life?

After my wedding there’s so much thing that happen in life, till I feel so dramatic and I couldn’t believe it that I could make it till now.

I have a prefect wedding that I wanted and hubby really gave me what I want expect for the childhood cartoon montage but the rest of the thing I ask from him, he did make it and we really spend a lot on this wedding but at least we make it a good want... I glad that I has a supportive husband, thanks for loving me.

After my wedding I realize that I’m pregnant and baby only survive till 7weeks in me and e heart beat stop, I got to remove it out before my honeymoon trip. During that time was the worse emotion, I cried everyday and quarrel with hubby for nothing I’m totally out of mind and I even throw my hp till spoiled and it was a new hp only 2 weeks old... Hubby suffer a lot during that time, he got to work and come home still got to shower for me, cook and clean up e house for me.. My mother in law did nothing and yet use those words to hurt me that will never forget, after my slip disc op she treated me e same thing too and now after I lost my child she did it again. Hubby told me not to take it to heart but how to? He always says his mum doesn’t mean it but what doesn’t mean it? I only can say living with mother in law is really very hard if she continue to do that I don’t know how long I can take it or endure with it. I’m a very simple person just want everyone to live happily together but if she just want thing in her own way then I got no choice maybe she will be happy to see that harry and I divorce.

Cant mother in law and daughter in law live in peace????

Stress!! Wedding!!

Today is the day that prince willam & kate has their firaytale story wedding, then suddenly i realize that i haven do any planning for mine... I felt so stress and i find that wedding not just harry & me, actully invole lots of people and lots of extra mouth.. super stress and boring!!

A new year & a new start in my life..

A new year had began, now is already 2011 time really past fast in 2010. After my op it seems that there’s lots of thing had changed in my life. I stop blogging even stop laugh & happy like before. I don’t know why? Maybe this op really affect me a lot be it is work, family or life. Totally changed, change my behavior toward everything and I know people around is trying very hard to please me esp Harry. I really don’t know how to express myself like before, I use to be a gal that nothing I’m afraid of & always happy go lucky but now my life is just suck. I want the old Wendy to come back? Can I? I want to have a good start in a good year; I want all my pain to go away from me. Lately I’m always so unhappy coz I always felt that people around me don’t understand my pain don’t understand how much I been thru. And I easier throwing out my temper like mad woman and I even lay hand on my hubby. Everyday in my life I just act happy and don wan people around me to worry but I’m not happy deep inside me. I hate my life now, I hate e pain & I hate eating medicine again and again and yet not recover. Since I was a little gal, I had never depended on anyone never even my family. I’m always who I am and now I need others to take care of me. I feel like shit damn shit. Hubby been telling me tat sad days will get over soon and I’m waiting I’m always waiting. But it seen tat sun just don’t wan to shine on me. After ah ma left my emo get worse I don’t know why, maybe from young I’m always e naughty wan tat she always scold and nag & I use to hate her so much but when I grow older I realize she is so old and why am I still fighting with her? But everything is just too late, so I feel tat life is really short and I wan to live in my way. But I’m always cannot choose e path I wan to be. My wish is to be a good housewife and good mother but now, I can’t even do any housework and let my MIL did it for me. And always heard her complaining this and that, I felt so stressful. I wan to be happy; I wan to be Wendy Tan once again. Praying hard that god will give me a chance to live happy with my love ones.
I know I’m lucky to have Harry & Sherina with me; they had never leaved me since day 1 of my darkness… After today I must really let go of ah ma and stop emo-ing and live happy with people tat still alive beside me. And start planning for my wedding dinner.. Wendy Tan jiayou jiayou!!!

Dessert @ Bedok

I'm having dessert at Bedok alone as I'm meeting hubby here & he is late. When I saw e stall selling black glutinous rice let me think of ah Ma. This is e last thing we had together at CGH b4 her op & is e last thing we do together. And I also promise her that I will buy for her again but no more.. I reali her so much & I never expected that I could miss her so much when she is gone.. It's really a mistake to ask her do this op? If she don do it maybe we still have chance to stay by her side?

Everything has a side of story.

I'm now in train, on my way back to office. Yesterday was a pretty bad day for me coz I quarrel with hubby badly, dental side oso bad coz gum inflamation then night miss my dinner appt. When I was in e dental waiting for my turn hubby came, we settle everything once & for all and I told him how unhappy am I all tis while. And he say thing will be beta wan & he promise. Sometime I reali don't know whether should stay or leave? I had failed once & I don't wan thing repeat again & again. I don't need a husband to be rich or handsome, I just need someone that can love & care for me. A person that can lend me a shoulder when I need.
Lately many thing unhappy happen around me, 1st my op then ah Ma pass away follow by staying with MIL so difficult. At least I reali feel like giving everything coz no matter how much I do for his family, his mum will never appreciated. Coz she is always right & she only believe on her own, no matter how nice I treat her oso no use. She always act like a queen at home, she say yes and no one can say no. Sometime I'm reali tired, I reali hope that hubby can give me full support