My Darling June Holiday Hip Hop Dancing Class.
Finally I got time to blog and upload picture, as I have been working since 1st June at my so call cousin Guifa’s cleaning company. Life has changed a lot as I couldn’t nap in the afternoon and I couldn’t watch all my HK series, when I decided to go out and work nobody trust that I can make it coz they find that I have been tai tai for years but life is abit bored and meaningless. For my age people outside earning good money and have their career and yet I have nothing coz I too depend on my husband and I think it is not a good thing coz my 1st marriage I also too depend on my partner and then when we were apart I’m so lost.. No money no career doesn’t know where to go and how to start a new life it was so scary and I don’t want it to happen again. At least now I start working, I can buy thing I like without asking money from my hubby and I could bring my mum and daughter anywhere I want. And I can use my own money to buy gift to my hubby, this is the happier thing coz every time when I bought something for him, I feel that it wasn’t from me coz after all is his money the money that he gave me. At least now I earn a little but I’m happy with it and I plan to bring him for a short trip on my 1st paid…In this June lots of thing had happen, joyful, heartbreaking & tired. Joyful that I finally step out and work and people give me chance to learn.
Heartbreaking because of my daughter Erina, wanted to find good tutor for during June holiday and yet she refused and her dad wasn’t encouraging too. And this month Erina & I had argument for more then a time, in this 7years I had never beat or scold her, I always try to give her e greatest I can and buy her thing tat she like but now she had changed she often shout at me like nobody business make me feel damn angry and I even tears. Feel so heart pain when she did that to me as I told myself I want to be a good mother a mother that can share everything under the sun with children.
But being a mother is really not easy and now I really can feel how much my mum been thru when I was a badly behaved child.
I still remember last week I bought to Vivo for movie and I show her Sentosa Universal Studio and I told that I want to bring her there suddenly she say I don’t want to go coz my ah ma and lau yi say cannot go there coz will lost money and then I say aiyo baby, mummy means go Universal have fun not casino le. Then she says NO and shouts, I was so irritated and I scolded her and she walk away. So then I bring her aside and talking and she started crying and crying, she started ask me why me & her dad will be apart. I really feel like telling her e true but I hold back coz I know that she is too young to know what actual happen and I don’t want her to live in their roof and yet miserable. So I tell her no matter what others had to u about mummy, I hope u can use your heart and eyes to see and feel what type of person is your mummy. I told that I know you’re ah ma and all e lau yi’s sure talk bad about me and she say yes, I say; don’t mind what people say about me is not important to me most important is that u must trust me and be a good gal.
She hold my hand and keep crying, sometime I really feel so regrets that why I have leave her there I should fight with them to take her back. Praying hard that one day I really can bring her back by my side and hoping that hubby and his family can allow her to join in.
Hope I wish I can slap his mother & to those people had, salt & pepper in front of a 7years kid... I HATE THEM!!!
