Stress!! Wedding!!

Today is the day that prince willam & kate has their firaytale story wedding, then suddenly i realize that i haven do any planning for mine... I felt so stress and i find that wedding not just harry & me, actully invole lots of people and lots of extra mouth.. super stress and boring!!

A new year & a new start in my life..

A new year had began, now is already 2011 time really past fast in 2010. After my op it seems that there’s lots of thing had changed in my life. I stop blogging even stop laugh & happy like before. I don’t know why? Maybe this op really affect me a lot be it is work, family or life. Totally changed, change my behavior toward everything and I know people around is trying very hard to please me esp Harry. I really don’t know how to express myself like before, I use to be a gal that nothing I’m afraid of & always happy go lucky but now my life is just suck. I want the old Wendy to come back? Can I? I want to have a good start in a good year; I want all my pain to go away from me. Lately I’m always so unhappy coz I always felt that people around me don’t understand my pain don’t understand how much I been thru. And I easier throwing out my temper like mad woman and I even lay hand on my hubby. Everyday in my life I just act happy and don wan people around me to worry but I’m not happy deep inside me. I hate my life now, I hate e pain & I hate eating medicine again and again and yet not recover. Since I was a little gal, I had never depended on anyone never even my family. I’m always who I am and now I need others to take care of me. I feel like shit damn shit. Hubby been telling me tat sad days will get over soon and I’m waiting I’m always waiting. But it seen tat sun just don’t wan to shine on me. After ah ma left my emo get worse I don’t know why, maybe from young I’m always e naughty wan tat she always scold and nag & I use to hate her so much but when I grow older I realize she is so old and why am I still fighting with her? But everything is just too late, so I feel tat life is really short and I wan to live in my way. But I’m always cannot choose e path I wan to be. My wish is to be a good housewife and good mother but now, I can’t even do any housework and let my MIL did it for me. And always heard her complaining this and that, I felt so stressful. I wan to be happy; I wan to be Wendy Tan once again. Praying hard that god will give me a chance to live happy with my love ones.
I know I’m lucky to have Harry & Sherina with me; they had never leaved me since day 1 of my darkness… After today I must really let go of ah ma and stop emo-ing and live happy with people tat still alive beside me. And start planning for my wedding dinner.. Wendy Tan jiayou jiayou!!!