Happy Birthday Christine Ong 68!

Today moody day, I don know how to explain my feeling now. Just feel depressing & glum as today is Christine’s birthday and later lunch time i will go visit her. Lately I been viewing her facebook profile and saw the entire picture that she took with her bf at Cambodia and that was the time when she fall sick and found out that she had cancer, I miss her smile to me her smile always stand out like a sun flower. She always so positive in life, never give up and fight all e way. Even when she is sick & badly sick she still care for others, comfort people around her. I miss her voice, her smile, her laugh & I really can’t believe it why god can be so cruel and take her away from us. A gal, that shines like an angel why??
Her Last trip in 2008

Sometime I feel that life is full of rubbish, why god just can’t let us live happy. When you start to love or change for a better life, he just take everything away from you. Cant people live happy? This few years’ lots of people passing by from my life, my dad, my aunt, my close pri schoolmate, Christine pang fall sick and Christine ong left me. Suddenly I feel so lonely in my world and esp. when my past R/S hurt me so deeply, I use to love a man more then my life and I always hoping to marry him and live happily ever after but I failed. We didn’t work it out and people felt that is my fault to call off, who’s know what kind of life I’m living? Others won’t know coz they are not 24/7 with us, actually he is not a very bad guy just don know how to love someone and wanted people to accompany him without showing any love. Maybe it really not my time yet and maybe is really me that cannot endure it ba. After all this had happen in my life, I decided to change my thought of loving and wonderful R/S. Now I just wan someone that love me & pamper me more, don need to be handsome or rich man. Just a man that can accept my past and love who I am, I’m lucky that I had found someone who love me and pamper me although sometime he is really very attitude problem till I really can’t stand him feel like kill him but after all we are still fine. E most important thing that always make us quarrel is Erina, I really don know when I cannot take it and leave. Sometime I really hope that someone can save me, really hope that he can wake up his F**King idea...

My beautiful weekend

And Saturday morning Hubby & I went to batam for a night stay at Harris resort, this is a birthday retreat for him from me as I didn’t buy any present for him this year. E trip was full of funny thing happen, 1st was ferry – we drop down at e wrong ferry terminal, then we were shock and worry that we couldn’t get to Harris in time as our spa massage is at 2:30pm but luckily e terminal people was very kind and they help us to arrange a cab to send us there just 10mins ride cost us SGD$12. At 1st I was a little worry to take e cab as I’m afraid that they will rob us but ended up everything was safe. Hubby says that I was too panic a bit only scare. Then when we reached e counter lady say that e normal rooms are all fully booked so they free upgrade us to villa, and when we went into e room I find it so nice and relax but hubby keep saying that got weird feeling and he scare got snake. Faint lo!!! Then he wanted to change room, die die also want to change. Then no choice we just leave our bags inside and go for massage 1st after massage we ask e counter people to change for us. And e best thing is he tells e counter people that his wife scared of snakes and ghosts so die die must change room. WFT!! ME!!! SHIT!!! Then e counter people got no choice change for us to a normal resort room. SIAN!!! After we move into e new room, hubby feel more relax and comfortable and he started doing his work till 6pm (Singapore time) then we go for a swim. And our dinner was a BBQ seafood buffet at e poolside which cost only SGD$35per person. That was cheap, in Singapore u won’t get to eat buffet at poolside coz SGD$35 de lo some more got band play music, singing & dancing. I find it very good, hubby say we can always come again and play with their sea sport. And I’m happy that I finally paid a trip for him.
Bought polo tops at duty free, 50% sales.

BBQ @ poolside

Rest & Relax time.... SPA!!! While waiting for ferry..

Let me start out sharing my beautiful weekend, on Friday is my mother in law birthday and we went Jumbo seafood at east coast together with mama and auntie mona. Everything was good and fine expects that they are a little busy and their service was a bit slow other then that everything was good. E kids also really enjoy running around e place coz it near to sea. They love to see boats.
E Martin's family.

Auntie Mona & Mama

Birthday Retreat for Adeline

Wednesday, my mother and sister in law are coming today. I woke up 6am in e morning just to clean up e house, make sure everything is in good state coz I worry that my mother in law will nag tat e house is dirty. STRESS!! Whenever my MIL is back in town I very scare and worry esp. now I start working liao got no time for housework.

Yesterday went Bugis for dinner with Adeline & Dollin, retreat for her birthday and we bought her a SooKee pendant with chain and buy her dinner at MOF. It been a long time since we last gather together and half way thru Nix brought Xavier over to meet us, he is really an elegant and adorable boy. He can sing and dance and full of action, at 1st he was a little bit shy but after awhile he is ok. So around 9:30pm we end our gathering and everyone head home, I took a train back as I don know where Bugis new taxi stand is and when I reach Tampines I walk home coz I want to excise and I need to smoke. By e time I reach home already 10:30pm, so I do laundry and pack some baby’s stuff. So excited to see e 2 gals, a bit miss them but also a bit worry coz now I start work liao so I wont have much time for them and I cannot acc them till late night like b4. Haiz!! Work work work!

This few days I felt so trouble & helpless, don know when this thing can be solve. Hoping someone can give me a helping hand coz I know that I cannot depend on Nick anymore, we really cannot communicate. After since his gf ask him not to msg or call me, I already know tat thing would turn out worse. And I really try hard to let him understand but. I’m not a very picky mother just tat I wan e best for her. Esp. now Nick’s mum is bitching behind my back. Can someone help me? I just want Erina to be cheerful and healthy, I don wan a 7years old child so EMO. If there’s a god, I really hope that god can hear me and help me. And I believe in karma, whatever they do now everything will go back to them and is true I strongly believe it.

Shopping with Erina

Friday after work went orchard with hubby and his friend for a walk coz his friend want to buy Gucci shoes but end up no Gucci and he bought a G-star top, and I bought 2tops and a mask that cost me $114.80… Hubby nearly faint coz he find it so small and yet so EX, I told him I saw this mask online from You tube a beauty show intro de. It seem like very good so I bought it and try coz lately not enough and my skin look dead. Need something good to life it up again...
And sat after Erina finish her dancing class me and her go Compass Point and Tampines mall shopping, we spend $200 buying things. Ended up nothing for me, all is Erina’s buy want, she bought a new swim wear, swimming towel, toy, 3s clothing at FOX kids & Crocs top. And we saw Casper and we went to eat Sushi together, this little gal talk so much to him like very long lost friend and wanted to go his house and play... Faint!!
We shop till our legs all aching lo then at night hubby came to fetch us at Tampines One and we go fetch my mum go eat steamboat at Toa-payoh. Hubby say I very rich Gov give $200 to and within a day I spend everything off, haha coz I wanna spend on my mother & Erina ma it been a long time we din shop till siong lo. After steamboat we send my mum & Erina back then go home and change and went to the Taiwan disco again. But after that sat night I think we won’t be there again coz too many ah beng and they are all hubby’s last time old school friend that know at FIRE.. There side really multi colour people and I told hubby that I don want to go there anymore liao, like anytime will have fight and will get into trouble. I rather go places relax want, now is earning money time no fighting time.
Sunday is a busy day coz my mother in law is coming so I got lots of housework to do but luckily nowadays hubby do help me too coz he knew that I’m also tired as I also started working liao. Then evening we bring my father in law go Charlie’s for dinner. My weekend has just gone like that. Another working week!!

From: Ni Ren Wo Zha Da
Can you see this pic taken by Erina? Coz of the height? LOL

Mother's feeling

Today is Friday already, finally is e words that I can say it now as after I started working I feel that weekend is so precious. Last time I won’t have this kind of mood as everyday is Friday to me and everyday is like holiday to me. Lately I’m so miserable coz of Erina, of her behavior and what she had always told me and lately I saw what happen to Weiliang & Kelyn also make my heart ache. Which mother would’t want to be with their child? Every mother loves their own child be it whether they are disobedient or not, unhealthy or not it will always be their beloved daughter or son.
Every time when I think of Erina have to live with those people I abhorrence most, I feel damn burn up. The feeling is like I wanted to tell her the truth what actually had happen in the past, how much hurt I had gone thru. Now all I wan is my gal is happy but it seem that Nick’s mum is giving me lots of problem by not teaching my gal e right way and give her a comfy life, during this school holiday Nick’s mum keep bringing her to play MJ and leave her alone at people house without anyone care about her. Sometime I really felt so sad that why I had left her 6years ago, I should bring her along with me even thou I cant afford her coz I believe that this is a wheel this is way. But I failed... Maybe I’m just too egotistic at the point of time, I just want freedom. And right now I hurt a little girl’s feeling. If god could give me another chance to choose, I will take her away and live with me. And I really hope that this one fine day will come and Harry could treat her like her own then we can live happily together and I can shower her with loves.

If time could turn back, I will want to hold you in my arms.

June 2010

Father's Day Dinner @ Vivo City, Louis King Grill & Bar.My Darling June Holiday Hip Hop Dancing Class.

Finally I got time to blog and upload picture, as I have been working since 1st June at my so call cousin Guifa’s cleaning company. Life has changed a lot as I couldn’t nap in the afternoon and I couldn’t watch all my HK series, when I decided to go out and work nobody trust that I can make it coz they find that I have been tai tai for years but life is abit bored and meaningless. For my age people outside earning good money and have their career and yet I have nothing coz I too depend on my husband and I think it is not a good thing coz my 1st marriage I also too depend on my partner and then when we were apart I’m so lost.. No money no career doesn’t know where to go and how to start a new life it was so scary and I don’t want it to happen again. At least now I start working, I can buy thing I like without asking money from my hubby and I could bring my mum and daughter anywhere I want. And I can use my own money to buy gift to my hubby, this is the happier thing coz every time when I bought something for him, I feel that it wasn’t from me coz after all is his money the money that he gave me. At least now I earn a little but I’m happy with it and I plan to bring him for a short trip on my 1st paid…

In this June lots of thing had happen, joyful, heartbreaking & tired. Joyful that I finally step out and work and people give me chance to learn.
Heartbreaking because of my daughter Erina, wanted to find good tutor for during June holiday and yet she refused and her dad wasn’t encouraging too. And this month Erina & I had argument for more then a time, in this 7years I had never beat or scold her, I always try to give her e greatest I can and buy her thing tat she like but now she had changed she often shout at me like nobody business make me feel damn angry and I even tears. Feel so heart pain when she did that to me as I told myself I want to be a good mother a mother that can share everything under the sun with children.
But being a mother is really not easy and now I really can feel how much my mum been thru when I was a badly behaved child.
I still remember last week I bought to Vivo for movie and I show her Sentosa Universal Studio and I told that I want to bring her there suddenly she say I don’t want to go coz my ah ma and lau yi say cannot go there coz will lost money and then I say aiyo baby, mummy means go Universal have fun not casino le. Then she says NO and shouts, I was so irritated and I scolded her and she walk away. So then I bring her aside and talking and she started crying and crying, she started ask me why me & her dad will be apart. I really feel like telling her e true but I hold back coz I know that she is too young to know what actual happen and I don’t want her to live in their roof and yet miserable. So I tell her no matter what others had to u about mummy, I hope u can use your heart and eyes to see and feel what type of person is your mummy. I told that I know you’re ah ma and all e lau yi’s sure talk bad about me and she say yes, I say; don’t mind what people say about me is not important to me most important is that u must trust me and be a good gal.
She hold my hand and keep crying, sometime I really feel so regrets that why I have leave her there I should fight with them to take her back. Praying hard that one day I really can bring her back by my side and hoping that hubby and his family can allow her to join in.

Hope I wish I can slap his mother & to those people had, salt & pepper in front of a 7years kid... I HATE THEM!!!

MAY!!!

This is what had happen in my MAY, busy with lots of event and gathering & had lots fun.
1st was my younger bro Alvin & Mum's birthday party at downtown east chalet.
2nd was our 1st driving up trip to Genting with my cousin Gavin.
3rd was hubby's birthday dinners & party.

Sound normal to you maybe but it seem very busy for me.. Haha
And i'm starting work soon it real soon on 1st June at my cousin office..


Dinners with Dad & Lim's family.

Hubby's birthday party with his bros
Genting trip...

Great-Grand-father & baby

Great-Grand-mother & Baby