Dessert @ Bedok

I'm having dessert at Bedok alone as I'm meeting hubby here & he is late. When I saw e stall selling black glutinous rice let me think of ah Ma. This is e last thing we had together at CGH b4 her op & is e last thing we do together. And I also promise her that I will buy for her again but no more.. I reali her so much & I never expected that I could miss her so much when she is gone.. It's really a mistake to ask her do this op? If she don do it maybe we still have chance to stay by her side?

Everything has a side of story.

I'm now in train, on my way back to office. Yesterday was a pretty bad day for me coz I quarrel with hubby badly, dental side oso bad coz gum inflamation then night miss my dinner appt. When I was in e dental waiting for my turn hubby came, we settle everything once & for all and I told him how unhappy am I all tis while. And he say thing will be beta wan & he promise. Sometime I reali don't know whether should stay or leave? I had failed once & I don't wan thing repeat again & again. I don't need a husband to be rich or handsome, I just need someone that can love & care for me. A person that can lend me a shoulder when I need.
Lately many thing unhappy happen around me, 1st my op then ah Ma pass away follow by staying with MIL so difficult. At least I reali feel like giving everything coz no matter how much I do for his family, his mum will never appreciated. Coz she is always right & she only believe on her own, no matter how nice I treat her oso no use. She always act like a queen at home, she say yes and no one can say no. Sometime I'm reali tired, I reali hope that hubby can give me full support

My mood now...

Today I'm super angry with Harry, I have never throw my temper so bad b4 in front of him for a long long time. I hate it when I'm sharing how I feel & he keep saying that I'm nagging. When I'm unhappy who can I go to? Husband/ mum/ friends or doctor? If I'm a marry woman, it's ok that I speak to my husband & complaint how I feel of what I see?? At this point I can say is no one, as I share with my husband about how I feel about his mum. He always say that I'm full of complaint & never a day I'm happy with her but he say about my bro. He even say thing very bad or very cb about him, I also stay cool to reply his words. Today is e worse day that I reali throw out all at e time & I just run away from him in e middle of e road. I reali cannot take it e way he say me. I can endure anything rubbish from his family but e only thing I can't stand is my husband say I nag & want me to stop. I reali feel that I want to be alone. I want to end all this, maybe is me prob is all me.. I cannot live with other people.. Should I stay alone??

Emo Friday

This afternoon I was quite emo as I was viewing my folder and I found pic that took with ah Ma during CNY, suddenly I realize that next year CNY won't have her around us and no more nagging. Don't know after ah Ma left, my mood always went up & down. And I know Hubby is trying very hard to please me & make me feel comfortable. Just like yesterday we went TM to shop for dress & shoes for his company PMAS dinner, I don't know what I want and I keep walking around till I very Pek cek. Hubby knew that I can't wear heels & I'm sad over it so he bought me a new pair of flat shoes from Pazzion just for this dinner. Reali grateful to have him around me.
And e dinner tonite is a casino theme, so we both wore black & just nice e hotel we went tonite is e hotel we view on thurs for our wedding dinner next year. So everything is just very nice we go and look at e ballroom & food tasting too. After e dinner hubby, Ronson & Gavin acc me go Bar None meet Sherina as we wanted to see Aila perform. After party we went 201 supper, I know hubby trying to acc me for outing so that I won't think so much at home. But now again I can't sleep, I reali don't know when I can fully recover with this. I miss u & I know nothing can change, what had happen already happen.. I'm trying & trying!!

Alvin going to UK

I had juz send my bro Alvin to airport as he is going to uk to meet his gf, I'm happy for him that he grew up & want to see outside world but yet I'm worry too as uk side is actuli quite messy place. I told him not to party at nite coz i'm scare that he might course trouble.
Today Hubby brought me to TM for dinner and a walk, lately Hubby keep saying that I'm EMO coz of ah Ma. And I know he is trying hard to pls me & make me happy, he even brought me for movie on a Sunday night which he normally don't do it coz Monday he got to work.I reali do thank him for his acc, he is nice but my heart juz can't stop thinking of ah Ma. Everything is too sudden, I always recall her last look before she die. I reali do apprecaite those who had attend or care for my ah Ma's wake & thanks for respecting her. She is someone important to me coz my dad is gone and now i left with nothing now. I hope that cousin would keep in touch with me even ah Ma is not around.
Now my only wish is to settle my wedding dinner as I had to postpone my date & got a hotel I wan, I wan all my aunties & uncles to give me blessing. And I believe ah Ma will do so too..

19/11/2010

This few months lots of thing had happen in my life, 1st is I had a slip disc op which I really cannot accept it coz I’m going to be 15% handicap in my life which means I cannot do a few things. Like wakeboarding, jogging, carry heavy stuff and do housework. This op makes my life so different now, something I really cannot take it and I felt so depress and I hate that my life going to be like this. Hubby keep saying that I have depression and brought me to see doc. Doc say that I’m too stressful of my recovering. Thinking of having a baby in future will give my back problem, I felt so sad and I’m always having pain don’t when all this will go away.
2nd is ah ma, she had left us and went to a peaceful place. Places were she doesn’t have pain & sadness. Don’t why ah ma away is like so hard for me to accept, maybe everyone tot that she will come back home after her op but no one expect that thing would turn out so sour. Till now I still felt that is e doc faults and I felt that CGH is really a very super lousy place, lousy doc. Ah ma is our leader in e house, whenever I need to pray my dad she will always remind me this and that. Now I have to plan everything on my own. Everything is like so sudden, why doc says ah ma will be fine after ballooning? Why ah ma leave us? Does she know what happen to her? Before her op, we still lie to her that she will be fine and ah ma still blur blur go SGH do op then like that. Haiz!! Super sian! When I saw ah ma lying inside e coffin my heart break, I use to acc her for doc check up & when I’m not working I always go 503 visit her & acc her chit chat. She always says that I talk like siao wan, she even call me siao peng. Why! Why! Why! Why so sudden!!!!
Today is ah ma birthday, I had never celebrate for her before and now she is gone. I really miss her & I have so much to share my wedding plan with her.

Another nite....

Another night that I couldn't close my eyes and sleep, whenever I'm trying to sleep your face come to my mind. I always remember e last look of your face before I had e chance to say good bye. I told you that i will bring you home & I promise I will buy you food once you are out of icu but everything failed. Our dream failed & you never come home. Why would this happen to our family? 1st is 6th aunt then now is you, why all of you leave us so sudden without saying a good bye? Do you know we all miss you?where did you go? It's a mistake for us to ask you go for e op? It's e doctor faults? Ah Ma why you leave us so sudden? What are you trying to say that day? Everyone of us is trying to figure.. We sorry that we lie to you that you will be fine after this op. I reali hope that now you are with 6th aunt happily together with no pain & no ill. We miss u!

Universal Sutdio

Where should I start…..? Let’s start with Universal studio ba, on 28th Aug I went to Universal studio with hubby, mum, Erina, Ronson & Junie as Junie is leaving Singapore on the 31st Aug. So Ronson wanted to bring her there to take some pictures and show her around, we do had fun there but wasn’t had enough time to completed all the rides as we went in late like around 12pm. It was hot tat day but fun coz we did had e chance to see 4D show and Hollywood action acting, tat was super good. Erina feel so amazed, at 1st she was shy to see Ronson & Junie but till e end they were good buddy. I think most of kids are like tat want, they always act shy at e beginning but after warm up they can play or talk like nobody business like tat. I think I should arrange more outing for her to mix around coz I want her to have more confident in herself and improve her English too.

Last night I went to meet Erina, Yanyi & AhYan for dinner and movie at AMK hub as I felt that this school holiday was boring for her coz she only stay at home together with ah Yan play Wi. We went to watch Cats & Dogs, is a very lame movie but no choice children like it so I have to accompany them too. Lately hubby & I went to watch this movie call Grown Ups, I find it very funny and I can laugh like hell. Even thou it’s a joker movie but I felt tat e story line was good is about friendship and I felt tat how nice if after 20years me and my friends could still be so close to each another.

Erina had movie outing with her friends @ AMK Hub.

Finally finish my S.A......... HAHA

Continue part2, Saturday 14/08 – suppose I have to meet Sherina & Janice early in e morning 9:30am as we need to go to Gleneagles’ hospital for our Gynae appt at 10:30am but ended up I was late coz Friday night went late movie then they was waiting for me at my blk till 10am then I wake up… OMG! We goanna be late for appt, we reach there about 11plus but luckily people there was nice and they wait for us. This Dr Chan was intro by Lisi coz Sherina & I decide to change a new Gynae as our Dr Kee was too old liao and this Dr Chan is a female doctor so will be much better also. So e 3 of us when pap smears together, everyone was good and Janice is planning for baby too. After doctor we went to Far East coz we had nails appt with Jeana, finally I can infill my nails & Jeana gave me a hand warmer to let me do my own hand spa. After nails, we went to bugis as hubby meet me there for praying and just nice Sherina & Janice’s mum were all there too. After praying we all went back on our own coz Alvin came to meet me and we went to fetch my mum from work and Erina from her aunt place. And we head to Yio Chu Kang for dinner at House of seafood, e food was nice but expensive we order crabs, meats, fish, prawns & vegetables cost us $250 e crabs already cost $108 hubby and I felt not very worth it coz at Jumbo we also can pay e same price but service more good and have air-con. This wan only a small shop house and their staff service wasn’t too good, they are too pack and busy till very forgetful some more toilet is very dirty like Malaysia. And also hubby cut himself when bite e crab, his tongue bleeds and he totally got no mood to eat. Think we wouldn’t go there again, we rather go Jumbo some more now I got Jumbo’s member so got discount. Hahahaha!
After dinner we went back to Fernvale, Erina start playing with Alvin till she doesn’t want to go home and cry. Sometime I see her very funny, like a little 3yrs old gal but acting old lady. I ask to stay over night with my mum, she doesn’t want coz I’m not around then LL we send home and then we went down to YUE. This few months hubby every weekend must go and drink till sometime I really feel so sian but hubby every time say what else I can do beside mahjong and drinking? Actually also quite true at least now he don go to night club, weekend go KTV chill with friends then weekday mahjong. But every week drink not boring meh? Can tahan meh? Lungs won’t get kill meh? Men are all funny animals they always say that they work so hard and they need to relax themselves so either they are a gamer, drinker, gambler or choingster. But when comes to women, we cannot relax our self by drinking or party all night long. If we do then men will say that we are playful this and that so this is e different between men & women. UNFAIR!

Whenever I'm typing my blog, Gavin will say' hey u typing SA ar? so long!
And he feel that people who blog are boring and lonely, that's why they blog. Its true?

To be contiune..............

Update Update & update, I think I missed so much to share with everyone. Lets start from JJ’s birthday party, we had a gathering at e Taiwan disco D8 on JJ birthday 30/07/2010. Finally e 4 of us had a chance to meet up but e feeling had totally changed, I also don’t know how to express it but just different maybe everyone had grow up and had different living life style. We were at D8 till e club close and head to Neverland at Orchard plaza, e very old Fire and is a Thai disco now. Hubby & I don’t really feel enjoy, just don’t know why. And I feel sad about it, maybe I shouldn’t expect too much what past had already past and everyone had their own living now. Maybe friendship really doesn’t last forever or maybe people changed? Or maybe is me? My thinking is too old fashion liao.

Lately this few weeks I’m sick, badly sick went to see doctor for 3 times and keep eating medicine till I lost weight. Coz of my cough & flu, I lost my voice but luckily I still can go out during the long weekend. I went to Kai’s baby shower at Hougang there and catch up with some of my old friends, it was nice coz I saw my ex-co from FIL. And baby Kai was so chubby, cute and I keep smell him coz I feel that baby always have a kind of special smell of their own. After e baby shower, actually I meet hubby at town for dinner and movie date but he over slept so I was alone shopping at compass point then around 5plus he called me and say change to meet at Tampines. So we went to Sushi Tei for dinner and bought movie ticket Street Dance at 9:45pm, while waiting for e movie we went to see some watches and hubby saw a A/X watch, look nice and he like it a lot so I bought for him as a gift usually price is $350 but lucky we saw our friend there and get discount so after discount is $230. So still not so bad, when we are about to go for coffee hubby say why not we don’t watch that movie liao coz I think that show not very nice le? Then I ask him, where u want to go? He says; we go and find Gavin la can play mahjong. So we went over to Andy’s house and play mahjong, hubby play 5-1 table and I play on 3-6 table. I lost $75 and hubby made $80, so end up is just play for fun pass time. I feel beta playing mahjong even thou I’m not good at it coz our Friday D8 and Saturday Yue keep going out for drinking and I feel so tired then Sunday play mahjong at least we can have some healthy life style. So that’s how I spend my long weekend.

Last Friday was Friday the 13th, it seem like nothing much happen around me so I guess it wasn’t an unlucky day. After work I went home and change and had some rest then movie at Shaw (Pope Joan) with Gavin & his friends, think don’t how many donkey years never go Shaw watch movie liao. E cinema was so aged & small, seat was old & dusty too but I guess their movie tickets are inexpensive coz hubby & I only paid $16 for 2people. After that movie we went to Siglap at prawns noodles, hubby was so pissed off with e China co-worker there and he F***Ed one of them coz she use hand to prepare our food without using hand gloves and then hubby cancel that dish. Hubby every time says China village people come to Singapore work as hawker very unhygienic de coz in China they service/ prepare food without gloves and they don’t even wear apron too even some of e aunties with long hair also never tie up de. So when they came to Singapore they also e same never learn to be clean but nowadays everywhere u goes also China people working in F&B line, so end of e day is LL de we still have to eat and whatever we don’t see won’t get hurt.

Surprise Surprise!!!

My busy weekend, Saturday when out with Erina and my mum to Bugis for praying then went to China Town shop & dinner at Yum Chia. It has been a long time since I went out shopping with my mum as Erina need to attend dancing class. But last week she didn’t went coz of her flu and cough as her ah ma say if she goes to the dance class she might suffer breathless and so they decided not to let her attend it. And I was so pissed off with her father & his gf. Coz on Friday night I tried to call and text her dad to confirm her class but no ans and reply till I have no choice got to call her ah ma in a late night. Nowadays her dad really making me pissed off coz his gf don’t allow him to contact me, to me don’t talk or sms I’m fine but when comes to my daughter thingy u have to response me coz I need to arrange my time to go fetch her. Some more on Saturday I went to fetch her is by myself without Harry, so I really got so pissed off and when I saw the both of them on Saturday I didn’t even wanted to say hi and I just walk away. Maybe others would feel that I'm so childish but I really can’t take it anymore, I really felt that this woman is full of rubbish. Damn BITCH!!! So this tells me that I cannot be so kind to others ESP Erina's dad gf, really suck my blood big big time.

After shopping and dinner with my mum & Erina, we send them home and we went down to Lunar as hubby say he need a drink and rest. So we went down then Ronson is singing for the club coz of Golden Awards. We were there till very late that night almost 5am then we leave the club, by the time we reach home already 5plus to 6am and hubby still can cooked Maggie noodles to eat. I felt so tired and I fall asleep coz Sunday I got lunch appt with Sherina and Janice at TM. We went to eat Pui Tian for lunch, a retreat for Sherina birthday coz she been flying and we all didn't have much free time for each another.

Hubby singing LIVE at YUE.

After lunch, hubby and I went to Expo to bought camera for my sister in law as her birthday coming and she is leaving for Bail trip on this Wednesday so we get her a Cannon 130 pink camera. I think that camera really very good and nice and she like pink too, so this is a great gift for her before her Bail trip. And we also bought toys for e kids, bras for me too and then we head back home. When I reach home, I saw something very shock “LV paper bag on my bed" then hubby say birthday present. As Sunday Les came back from Germany to bring his family to Bail so he asked Les to help him buy this bag for me and I felt touch & happy coz this bag is e want I saw at Singapore and I just say say this bag not bad can buy. Then he really got it for me but no tax return coz Les cannot get as he is PR in Germany some more LV price up. Last2months I saw in website are Euro500 but now are Euro520 so price went up abit some more with no tax return. That's mean is same as Singapore price. Really thank hubby for buying me a new bag...

Happy Birthday Christine Ong 68!

Today moody day, I don know how to explain my feeling now. Just feel depressing & glum as today is Christine’s birthday and later lunch time i will go visit her. Lately I been viewing her facebook profile and saw the entire picture that she took with her bf at Cambodia and that was the time when she fall sick and found out that she had cancer, I miss her smile to me her smile always stand out like a sun flower. She always so positive in life, never give up and fight all e way. Even when she is sick & badly sick she still care for others, comfort people around her. I miss her voice, her smile, her laugh & I really can’t believe it why god can be so cruel and take her away from us. A gal, that shines like an angel why??
Her Last trip in 2008

Sometime I feel that life is full of rubbish, why god just can’t let us live happy. When you start to love or change for a better life, he just take everything away from you. Cant people live happy? This few years’ lots of people passing by from my life, my dad, my aunt, my close pri schoolmate, Christine pang fall sick and Christine ong left me. Suddenly I feel so lonely in my world and esp. when my past R/S hurt me so deeply, I use to love a man more then my life and I always hoping to marry him and live happily ever after but I failed. We didn’t work it out and people felt that is my fault to call off, who’s know what kind of life I’m living? Others won’t know coz they are not 24/7 with us, actually he is not a very bad guy just don know how to love someone and wanted people to accompany him without showing any love. Maybe it really not my time yet and maybe is really me that cannot endure it ba. After all this had happen in my life, I decided to change my thought of loving and wonderful R/S. Now I just wan someone that love me & pamper me more, don need to be handsome or rich man. Just a man that can accept my past and love who I am, I’m lucky that I had found someone who love me and pamper me although sometime he is really very attitude problem till I really can’t stand him feel like kill him but after all we are still fine. E most important thing that always make us quarrel is Erina, I really don know when I cannot take it and leave. Sometime I really hope that someone can save me, really hope that he can wake up his F**King idea...

My beautiful weekend

And Saturday morning Hubby & I went to batam for a night stay at Harris resort, this is a birthday retreat for him from me as I didn’t buy any present for him this year. E trip was full of funny thing happen, 1st was ferry – we drop down at e wrong ferry terminal, then we were shock and worry that we couldn’t get to Harris in time as our spa massage is at 2:30pm but luckily e terminal people was very kind and they help us to arrange a cab to send us there just 10mins ride cost us SGD$12. At 1st I was a little worry to take e cab as I’m afraid that they will rob us but ended up everything was safe. Hubby says that I was too panic a bit only scare. Then when we reached e counter lady say that e normal rooms are all fully booked so they free upgrade us to villa, and when we went into e room I find it so nice and relax but hubby keep saying that got weird feeling and he scare got snake. Faint lo!!! Then he wanted to change room, die die also want to change. Then no choice we just leave our bags inside and go for massage 1st after massage we ask e counter people to change for us. And e best thing is he tells e counter people that his wife scared of snakes and ghosts so die die must change room. WFT!! ME!!! SHIT!!! Then e counter people got no choice change for us to a normal resort room. SIAN!!! After we move into e new room, hubby feel more relax and comfortable and he started doing his work till 6pm (Singapore time) then we go for a swim. And our dinner was a BBQ seafood buffet at e poolside which cost only SGD$35per person. That was cheap, in Singapore u won’t get to eat buffet at poolside coz SGD$35 de lo some more got band play music, singing & dancing. I find it very good, hubby say we can always come again and play with their sea sport. And I’m happy that I finally paid a trip for him.
Bought polo tops at duty free, 50% sales.

BBQ @ poolside

Rest & Relax time.... SPA!!! While waiting for ferry..

Let me start out sharing my beautiful weekend, on Friday is my mother in law birthday and we went Jumbo seafood at east coast together with mama and auntie mona. Everything was good and fine expects that they are a little busy and their service was a bit slow other then that everything was good. E kids also really enjoy running around e place coz it near to sea. They love to see boats.
E Martin's family.

Auntie Mona & Mama

Birthday Retreat for Adeline

Wednesday, my mother and sister in law are coming today. I woke up 6am in e morning just to clean up e house, make sure everything is in good state coz I worry that my mother in law will nag tat e house is dirty. STRESS!! Whenever my MIL is back in town I very scare and worry esp. now I start working liao got no time for housework.

Yesterday went Bugis for dinner with Adeline & Dollin, retreat for her birthday and we bought her a SooKee pendant with chain and buy her dinner at MOF. It been a long time since we last gather together and half way thru Nix brought Xavier over to meet us, he is really an elegant and adorable boy. He can sing and dance and full of action, at 1st he was a little bit shy but after awhile he is ok. So around 9:30pm we end our gathering and everyone head home, I took a train back as I don know where Bugis new taxi stand is and when I reach Tampines I walk home coz I want to excise and I need to smoke. By e time I reach home already 10:30pm, so I do laundry and pack some baby’s stuff. So excited to see e 2 gals, a bit miss them but also a bit worry coz now I start work liao so I wont have much time for them and I cannot acc them till late night like b4. Haiz!! Work work work!

This few days I felt so trouble & helpless, don know when this thing can be solve. Hoping someone can give me a helping hand coz I know that I cannot depend on Nick anymore, we really cannot communicate. After since his gf ask him not to msg or call me, I already know tat thing would turn out worse. And I really try hard to let him understand but. I’m not a very picky mother just tat I wan e best for her. Esp. now Nick’s mum is bitching behind my back. Can someone help me? I just want Erina to be cheerful and healthy, I don wan a 7years old child so EMO. If there’s a god, I really hope that god can hear me and help me. And I believe in karma, whatever they do now everything will go back to them and is true I strongly believe it.

Shopping with Erina

Friday after work went orchard with hubby and his friend for a walk coz his friend want to buy Gucci shoes but end up no Gucci and he bought a G-star top, and I bought 2tops and a mask that cost me $114.80… Hubby nearly faint coz he find it so small and yet so EX, I told him I saw this mask online from You tube a beauty show intro de. It seem like very good so I bought it and try coz lately not enough and my skin look dead. Need something good to life it up again...
And sat after Erina finish her dancing class me and her go Compass Point and Tampines mall shopping, we spend $200 buying things. Ended up nothing for me, all is Erina’s buy want, she bought a new swim wear, swimming towel, toy, 3s clothing at FOX kids & Crocs top. And we saw Casper and we went to eat Sushi together, this little gal talk so much to him like very long lost friend and wanted to go his house and play... Faint!!
We shop till our legs all aching lo then at night hubby came to fetch us at Tampines One and we go fetch my mum go eat steamboat at Toa-payoh. Hubby say I very rich Gov give $200 to and within a day I spend everything off, haha coz I wanna spend on my mother & Erina ma it been a long time we din shop till siong lo. After steamboat we send my mum & Erina back then go home and change and went to the Taiwan disco again. But after that sat night I think we won’t be there again coz too many ah beng and they are all hubby’s last time old school friend that know at FIRE.. There side really multi colour people and I told hubby that I don want to go there anymore liao, like anytime will have fight and will get into trouble. I rather go places relax want, now is earning money time no fighting time.
Sunday is a busy day coz my mother in law is coming so I got lots of housework to do but luckily nowadays hubby do help me too coz he knew that I’m also tired as I also started working liao. Then evening we bring my father in law go Charlie’s for dinner. My weekend has just gone like that. Another working week!!

From: Ni Ren Wo Zha Da
Can you see this pic taken by Erina? Coz of the height? LOL

Mother's feeling

Today is Friday already, finally is e words that I can say it now as after I started working I feel that weekend is so precious. Last time I won’t have this kind of mood as everyday is Friday to me and everyday is like holiday to me. Lately I’m so miserable coz of Erina, of her behavior and what she had always told me and lately I saw what happen to Weiliang & Kelyn also make my heart ache. Which mother would’t want to be with their child? Every mother loves their own child be it whether they are disobedient or not, unhealthy or not it will always be their beloved daughter or son.
Every time when I think of Erina have to live with those people I abhorrence most, I feel damn burn up. The feeling is like I wanted to tell her the truth what actually had happen in the past, how much hurt I had gone thru. Now all I wan is my gal is happy but it seem that Nick’s mum is giving me lots of problem by not teaching my gal e right way and give her a comfy life, during this school holiday Nick’s mum keep bringing her to play MJ and leave her alone at people house without anyone care about her. Sometime I really felt so sad that why I had left her 6years ago, I should bring her along with me even thou I cant afford her coz I believe that this is a wheel this is way. But I failed... Maybe I’m just too egotistic at the point of time, I just want freedom. And right now I hurt a little girl’s feeling. If god could give me another chance to choose, I will take her away and live with me. And I really hope that this one fine day will come and Harry could treat her like her own then we can live happily together and I can shower her with loves.

If time could turn back, I will want to hold you in my arms.

June 2010

Father's Day Dinner @ Vivo City, Louis King Grill & Bar.My Darling June Holiday Hip Hop Dancing Class.

Finally I got time to blog and upload picture, as I have been working since 1st June at my so call cousin Guifa’s cleaning company. Life has changed a lot as I couldn’t nap in the afternoon and I couldn’t watch all my HK series, when I decided to go out and work nobody trust that I can make it coz they find that I have been tai tai for years but life is abit bored and meaningless. For my age people outside earning good money and have their career and yet I have nothing coz I too depend on my husband and I think it is not a good thing coz my 1st marriage I also too depend on my partner and then when we were apart I’m so lost.. No money no career doesn’t know where to go and how to start a new life it was so scary and I don’t want it to happen again. At least now I start working, I can buy thing I like without asking money from my hubby and I could bring my mum and daughter anywhere I want. And I can use my own money to buy gift to my hubby, this is the happier thing coz every time when I bought something for him, I feel that it wasn’t from me coz after all is his money the money that he gave me. At least now I earn a little but I’m happy with it and I plan to bring him for a short trip on my 1st paid…

In this June lots of thing had happen, joyful, heartbreaking & tired. Joyful that I finally step out and work and people give me chance to learn.
Heartbreaking because of my daughter Erina, wanted to find good tutor for during June holiday and yet she refused and her dad wasn’t encouraging too. And this month Erina & I had argument for more then a time, in this 7years I had never beat or scold her, I always try to give her e greatest I can and buy her thing tat she like but now she had changed she often shout at me like nobody business make me feel damn angry and I even tears. Feel so heart pain when she did that to me as I told myself I want to be a good mother a mother that can share everything under the sun with children.
But being a mother is really not easy and now I really can feel how much my mum been thru when I was a badly behaved child.
I still remember last week I bought to Vivo for movie and I show her Sentosa Universal Studio and I told that I want to bring her there suddenly she say I don’t want to go coz my ah ma and lau yi say cannot go there coz will lost money and then I say aiyo baby, mummy means go Universal have fun not casino le. Then she says NO and shouts, I was so irritated and I scolded her and she walk away. So then I bring her aside and talking and she started crying and crying, she started ask me why me & her dad will be apart. I really feel like telling her e true but I hold back coz I know that she is too young to know what actual happen and I don’t want her to live in their roof and yet miserable. So I tell her no matter what others had to u about mummy, I hope u can use your heart and eyes to see and feel what type of person is your mummy. I told that I know you’re ah ma and all e lau yi’s sure talk bad about me and she say yes, I say; don’t mind what people say about me is not important to me most important is that u must trust me and be a good gal.
She hold my hand and keep crying, sometime I really feel so regrets that why I have leave her there I should fight with them to take her back. Praying hard that one day I really can bring her back by my side and hoping that hubby and his family can allow her to join in.

Hope I wish I can slap his mother & to those people had, salt & pepper in front of a 7years kid... I HATE THEM!!!

MAY!!!

This is what had happen in my MAY, busy with lots of event and gathering & had lots fun.
1st was my younger bro Alvin & Mum's birthday party at downtown east chalet.
2nd was our 1st driving up trip to Genting with my cousin Gavin.
3rd was hubby's birthday dinners & party.

Sound normal to you maybe but it seem very busy for me.. Haha
And i'm starting work soon it real soon on 1st June at my cousin office..


Dinners with Dad & Lim's family.

Hubby's birthday party with his bros
Genting trip...

Great-Grand-father & baby

Great-Grand-mother & Baby

They back to Germany...

Friday night again, hubby plan to go Social House Thai disco and try out it but it was e poorer club we even went lo... Nobody wan, it looks like ghost town club after we had finished our bottle we went over to lunar... That’s e place we enjoy man, e place I feel like home can chit chat with all my Ex coll and Dollin was there too as she had a night stop in Singapore...

Saturday as usual we went back to my mum’s place for dinner but wasn’t my mum whom cook is my bro’s gf, she cooked clay pot rice for us. And after dinner, hubby & I went to visit Bernard and his baby we were at his house till 3am then go home. E next day I had a stomach flu and runs toilet e whole day, body was weak and sleep e whole day at and I suppose need to attend Benson’s baby shower but I didn’t went… Didn’t have a chance to see his baby, feel so pai sae.
Yesterday was a gloomy day for me as e gals went back to Germany, it was a last min thingy coz they couldn’t get tickets back suddenly Les check got people cancel tickets and within 5hours they need to get ready and go to e airport. Sis Kim was busy packing stuff and I look after e gal’s coz I know it would be e last time I shower and feed already as Desiree is going to start school in Aug in Germany and they won’t be back soon. Around 9pm we went to e airport together with Les’s sister and they are about to check in Beverly refuse to go, she keeps putting my clothes and hug me tight with her and ask her mummy to go away and she keep saying Mimi, Mimi go Germany... And then my tears fall coz I felt so touch, it 6mths we live together, sleep, eat, shower & play together. Beginning when they move in, I feel so helpless coz they always mess up my room and jumping around on my bed. I couldn’t scold them coz they are not my kids but after awhile when they stay longer, they will listen to me and behave themselves. Esp. e time when my sister in law in hosp I need to sleep with them and take care of them all day long, we start to get more and closer esp. Beverly. She really treated me like her Mimi, she want me to bath or feed even sometime she refuse to stay with her own mother. Sometime thing really funny, they are not my kids but I love them like my own. Don’t why now I feel so boring went I come back home, e house so quiet & empty coz my mother in law kept their entire thing away. Miss their voice, miss them calling me Mimi and miss their smell. Today I had meet up with Ah cat, my childhood best friend we went to compass point for coffee together with her daughter Regina… She was so small size and cute it makes me think of Beverly. Can’t help to stop thinking or missing them…

Tarot Card...

Wednesday morning, Sherina & I went to see a tarot card lady as we heard that this lady was well-known and price was reasonable. It take us months to Q for her appointment also, when we got there at 11am Sherina was e 1st one to saw her and they started chatting. I found that she is not really that good and when is my turn I felt that she is 50-50 of what she said to me… Maybe because I didn’t really want to open my heart for her coz I felt that she sound more like consultant then tarot card lady, she said in my whole life I don’t need to work and yet money will come into my hand, my marriage life will be twice and end up last is Harry with 2kids… I ask her if I could be a boss and open a shop, she said no lo, she said my life will be bored but I don’t need to be bothered. And I ask her will my hubby be very rich man, she said; yes, he will but when he is very rich he will have another woman outside and if I want a faithfulness husband then I must live normally. What a rubbish tot right??? Which woman won’t want their husband to have money & give them first-class life?? As for unfaithful part, is up to us if I can’t hold my hubby by my side I got no one to blame. And I believe that all men are e same want when they got money sure their backside will get abit itchy de lo, so I believe when my hubby became very rich is time for me to hold him tight beside me… Hahaha!!!

Wednesday was also my in laws 36th wedding anniversary, my father in law bought a Rolex (expensive gift le) for my mother in law and we went to airport T3 Lerkthai restaurant for our dinner, e food there wasn’t so good and service was very terrible as they seem like not enough staff to work like that… After dinner everyone complaint and say won’t try again liao, say next time must eat crystal jade.

Today Dollin is back in town and we might meet up for a drink tonight, hubby says maybe we are going to Thai disco so long never go Thai disco liao… Actually I prefer Thai disco then Chinese canto pop, Thai want more fun & gals more pretty… Hahaha

Janice's birthday lunch..

Yesterday Sherina, Janice & I went to bugis for lunch as is was Janice's birthday lunch @ NYDC.. And we bought her a diamond pendant from Meyson, is a letter J and she is very happy with it..
It been so long that e 3 of us meet up, is either i see Sherina or Janice and hardly got both of them free.. We had a great time together, eating & chatting like crazy gals outing and took lots of photos..

Tues, I meet up with Janice at parkway for lunch. We went to Sakae Sushi and Fish & co for drink and we realise that Fish & co got smoking area.. Now we found a new place to hang out liao, and then wed Hubby and I went to meet up with Dollin for a short dinner b4 she meet up with her contracted and she pass me, my bag that hubby ask her to bought for me.. Really happy that hubby bought a new bag for and i told him that not to waste money liao.. Cox i had 3new bags this year and i think is enough. Really thanks Dollin for helping me to carry this bag back and thanks hubby for loving me..